Well having no feelings and making it publicly known on a blog does protect you in an emotional sense, but that is only a small percentage of what is wrong in my life. I have spent my days in a haze of happiness and fake fulfillment and not paid attention to other things that are important, namely friends, family, and work. Today is the first day of a new term at my uni and this should have been a happy occasion, seeing old friends and reliving awful xmas stories, but it has been plagued by the notion that i have spent 4 months doing absolutely nothing. Just drifting in and out of the life we call reality and a virtual one born half of computer chips and half from the imagination of someone who truly lives in denial.
So i sit here on the precipice of 2 weeks of absolute torture deluded by the fact that I have not been keeping up with my work, and I know I have a hard time ahead, and the insomnia that has been plaguing me has become a half blessing although my mind and thoughts have been diluted, and I find it hard to focus its time i need although it will not be quality time, it still is time. I know my mind will be kept from not swimming to other ineffectual thoughts to work and the stress that comes with it. My veins on my neck are jut swelling at the prospect of staring at a PC screen for any activity other than one that creates a more appeasing reality. So I say adieu, and consign my body to another week of pain and heartache, another week of dry scratchy eyes against the backdrop of world of warcraft. I'm on edge, I don't know which one ,but i do know it is a long way down, and I am more than happy dragging you down with me. Without darkness there would be no light without pain there will be no joy, in a world where absolutes reign, it is most important as to where to strike a balance.
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